


Secrets and Snow

by tattyoldtrenchcoat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, First Kiss, Invisibility Cloak (Harry Potter), M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 22:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17609993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattyoldtrenchcoat/pseuds/tattyoldtrenchcoat
Summary: James is hiding something, Sirius is having emotions, Peter is tidying, and Remus is in his own personal hell. Sometimes being a werewolf is the easiest part of his existence.





	Secrets and Snow

 

Something was different, that much Remus knew, and different never meant good. He just couldn’t put his finger on what had changed. It wasn’t Peter, he was still as predictable as clockwork. Pleasant and agreeable, always up for a laugh but never taking the lead. _No_ , Remus thought as he watched Wormtail frown at his Divination essay, _Wormtail_ _was_ , _well_ , _Wormtail_.

Sirius was off with some Hufflepuff girl, according to Marlene who had spotted him skulking about near the kitchens. Her words, not Remus’s, the Sirius he knew was unlikely to skulk. Sirius was more of the swaggering type.

Girlfriends were the norm for Padfoot, his hair and easy nature made him very popular with the girls. None ever lasted more than a few weeks, however. Sirius would always find a reason to break it off. Too tall, too clingy, too busy, too boring, too chatty, his list of reasons would go on and on with each new girlfriend. Remus almost felt sorry for them, they never stood a chance with perfectionist Padfoot.

James was, well he didn’t actually know where James was. That was weird. James and Sirius were normally joined at the hip, with the exception of James’ quidditch practice and Sirius’ hook ups. James would usually be sat here, in the library, moaning to Remus and Peter and anyone who would listen that Sirius was an awful friend who abandoned him at the first chance of a snog.

Come to think of it, James had been disappearing a lot lately. Rage burst in Remus, he was furious with himself for not noticing sooner. The fucking full moon had left him so drained he hadn’t even realised. Merlin, he was sick of it all.

“You alright, Moony?” Peter asked warily.

Remus looked down and saw that he’d crumpled his Herbology essay in his anger. Swearing under his breath, he did his best to smooth it out. He really couldn’t be bothered to start again.

“Sorry, just a little distracted. Have you seen Prongs since this morning?” Remus asked him, Peter could be surprisingly observant at times, maybe he knew.

“No… you don’t think him and Pads are plotting without us do you?!” Peter exclaimed, earning a very harsh stare from Madam Pince.

Trust Peter to worry about that. “Nah, Pads is with some Hufflepuff girl according to Marlene,” Remus consoled him.

“Poor girl,” Peter grinned.

“Doesn’t explain where Prongs is though,” Remus sighed, starting to put his homework away. He was too distracted to get anything done right now.

“Leaving already Moons? But I only just arrived!” Sirius flopped down into the seat next to him, lounging effortlessly in a way only Sirius could. His long hair curled a little at the ends and there was one strand that seemed intent on sending Remus loopy. It hung right in front of Sirius’ eyes and just begged to be swept out of the way, behind his ear. How Sirius put up with it Remus would never understand. Remus was very tempted to take a pair of scissors to it in the middle of the night.

“Done torturing your latest victim?” Peter asked, clearly hoping for some salacious detail.

“You should hear the screams,” Sirius winked.

“Gross,” Remus remarked, feeling more than a little sick.

“Speaking of gross, where’s Prongsie?” Sirius asked, glancing around the library like he expected James to be hidden amongst the shelves.

“Never showed. I was hoping you’d know.”

“Huh. That’s…weird,” Sirius’s care free smile slipped into a little frown, his thick eyebrows knotting together.

“You don’t think he’s in trouble, do you?” Peter squeaked, his eyes as wide as saucers.

“At school? No, Hogwarts in the safest place on earth with Dumbledore about,” Sirius said matter of factly.

“What if… what if he wasn’t at school?” Remus asked in a very small voice.

Silence fell over the boys for a moment. The world was dangerous right now, and not the fun kind. Everyday the Prophet reported on another death, muggleborns and muggle supporters taking the bulk of the the attacks. What if James had snuck out? It wouldn’t be the first time but he’d never gone alone before.

“He’d have to take the cloak and map,” Remus reasoned out loud. It’d be impossible to get through the castle to the passageway without them.

“Lets check the dorm then,” Sirius agreed, and the boys rushed out of the library, earning one final glare from Madam Pince.

 

* * *

 

  
“The cloaks here but the map’s gone,” Sirius told Remus and Peter as he lifted the loose floorboard under James bed where they kept all the pranking supplies.

“Weird,” Remus muttered, perched on the end of his bed. “He can’t have gone far without the cloak, so why take the map?”

Sirius sighed and flopped down next to Remus, stretching himself out across Remus’s bed, his dark hair haloing his head.

The two of them just sat for a moment, worry and confusion racing through their thoughts. They watched as Peter absently started to tidy the room. Picking up shoes and pieces of parchment and old sweet wrappers and Merlin knows what else that littered their floor. A stressed Peter was a tidy Peter, it was a godsend during exams but right now it just made Remus anxious. James would be alright, right? How much trouble could he get into in one afternoon? Remus decided not to answer that, or think about the broom, staircase, ponytail debacle of 1973. James would be fine. He was fine.

The squeal Remus let out when the door to the dorm flung open was very manly and luckily Sirius and Peter were too busy being startled to notice. James burst in, looking a little flushed but completely safe and very not-murdered.

“What are you lot doing in here?” James asked, dumping his book bag on his bed.

“Where the hell have you been?” Sirius demanded, jumping to his feet to get a better look at him. He sounded just like a worried mother.

“… quidditch practice-” James took a second too long to reply.

“It’s like minus eight out there! It’s snowing so hard you can’t see Hagrid’s!” Sirius cut him off, a little manically. Remus reached over and put his hand on Sirius’s back, trying to calm him. He felt the muscles in Sirius’s back relax a little under his touch.

“If you’d let me finish, it was just theory stuff. The plan for when the weather gets warmer,” James said a little tersely.

Huh. That actually makes some sense.

There was a silence for a moment, then Peter spoke up. “That’s it? Wow, I guess we really overreacted.”

Sirius snorted a laugh. The tension in the room easing. “Sorry mate, we thought you were dead or something.”

An expression flitted across James’ face that was hard to place. Guilt, maybe. It was only there for such a short while Remus wondered if he imagined it.

“C’mon, lets go get dinner, I’m starving,” Peter whined.

“You’re always starving! I’m beginning to think it’s a rat thing!” Sirius teased.

“That explains why you shed hair absolutely everywhere,” Remus joked, ushering them out of the room. They only had about 10 minutes before Peter went from a little whiny to down right annoying, and Remus couldn’t be bothered to cope with that today.

“And why James is so horny!” Sirius bellowed out, laughing at his own joke.

“Hey, I have antlers not horns, dipshit!” James retorted.

* * *

 

  
Remus was jolted awake by someone climbing into bed with him. Groggily he reached for his wand, tucked into the pocket of his robes that hung by his bedpost. Before his fingers touched it however, the invader huffed agitatedly in his ear. It was a very familiar huff.

“What d’you want, Pads?” Remus mumbled into his pillow. Shifting over in the very little space he had so that Sirius wouldn’t fall off.

Sirius cast Muffliato.

“What’s going on?” Remus demanded, immediately awake, this was serious. Padfoot never used Muffliato unless he really had to. To start with both Prongs and Wormtail slept like the dead so on the rare occasion Sirius climbed into Remus’s bed after a nightmare or to plot a prank they never really worried about waking the other boys.

Also, Snape invented the spell, they only knew it because he had taught it to Lily and she had taught it to Marlene. Marlene had taught it to them fifth year, in an effort to impress Sirius. Thankfully that crush had ended as quickly as it began as Sirius had promised James to never date any of Lily’s friends, so not to give her more reasons to hate him. However, that left them with an extraordinarily useful spell that they didn’t want to use. Sirius often said he could smell Snivellus’s greasy hair when he cast it. That didn’t seem to bother Sirius tonight though.

Remus felt very hot all of a sudden. Sirius was in his bed, shirtless and with slightly damp hair, in the middle of the night, wanting them to be alone. Completely alone.

That train of thought was derailed quickly when Remus looked at Sirius’s pinched expression. It was the same face he’d pulled when he couldn’t get the proportions right when they made the map, right before he gave up and asked Remus to help.

“Did you believe Prongs’s story about quidditch practice?” Sirius asked quietly, despite the Muffliato charm.

Remus paused for a minute. He’d accepted the story as believable, but did he actually believe it? Then he remembered how guilty James had looked when they said they thought he was dead. Remus shook his head, “Not really… I mean it’s reasonable but… something wasn’t right.”

“Me too. I just can’t put my finger on it,” Sirius sighed, his breath tickling Remus’ cheek they were so close. Remus’s heart jumped up to his throat.

Remus tried very hard to think for a moment, a very difficult task when Sirius was centimetres away. Why had they assumed James was in trouble? He hadn’t taken the cloak but…

“The Map!” Remus exclaimed, making the charm necessary for the first time. “Why would he take the map if he was just at quidditch practice?”

“He wouldn’t,” Sirius said slowly, thinking. “So, wherever he was it wasn’t quidditch.”

“What could he be doing that he’d need the map but not the cloak? And that he’d lie to us over?”

“Something he needed to know where people were for? A prank?”

That didn’t seem right to Remus, who would he be pranking with if not any of them? “What if he didn’t need the map… what if he just didn’t want us to have it? What if he didn’t want us knowing where he was?”

There was a very long pause, silence stifling in the small enclosure of the curtains.

“He has a secret from us.”

Remus had never heard Sirius sound so hurt. Not when his parents disowned him, not when Regulus screamed at him across the great hall, not even when Remus hadn’t spoken to him for two weeks after the Snape incident. Sirius Black was going to cry. Shit. What did people do when their hot best friend cries in their bed in the middle of the night?

Before Remus could do something stupid like pulling him into his arms and kissing his forehead like a mother would, out of sheer awkward desperation, the problem was no longer a problem. Where had moments ago sat a shaken Sirius now sat a giant whimpering dog. Padfoot, Remus could work with.

Remus laid down, snuggling into his bed. Padfoot curled up beside him, resting his head on Remus’s thigh. This was a familiar position for them, after the full moon while Remus was too weak to move Padfoot would lie with him while Peter and James went to bed. The whimpering of the dog beside him broke Remus’s heart as he carded his fingers through the coarse fur on the back of his neck.

Eventually, the whines slowed into a regular snore. Remus laid there, hand still in his fur, staring at the bed canopy. How could he be such an arse? Here was his best friend, crying and hurting and needing help, while all he could think of was how his chest would feel under his hands.

And, although it wasn’t as earth-shattering a heartbreak of him as it was for Sirius, he was still hurt by James hiding something from them. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. They were a team, had been since the first night in the dorm when Peter was homesick, Sirius jumped at every noise, Remus was on a knives edge expecting someone to shout werewolf any second, and James suddenly had a group of terrified ducklings to take under his wing. James as any sort of leader lasted less than a day, when he tried to convince then that sliding down moving staircase bannisters was a good idea. They were a much more sensible democracy after that particular infirmary visit.

Something had changed though. James didn’t trust them and it hurt. It hurt more than Remus wanted to admit. He would trust any of them with his life, hell he pretty much had when they found out about the furry little problem. But, however much he was hurting, this was a thousand times worse for Sirius. James wasn’t his best friend, he was his brother. Mrs Potter would name Sirius her son if she could. And this, unlike his actual brother’s betrayal, was completely out of the blue.

The worst part was that they didn’t know what this was all about. Why was James hiding whatever this was? Did James need help after all? They said the first sign of someone becoming a Death Eater, whether by choice, force, or imperio, was strange behaviour and keeping secrets.

No, James would never do that, not ever. And if it was the imperius curse they’d have noticed before now, wouldn’t they?

Remus only had questions and no answers. Why’s, where’s, and who’s circled his head making it impossible to sleep no matter how tired he was. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there, trying to think his way through the problem to no avail, with Padfoot curled up beside him in a restless sleep but eventually, his exhaustion got the better of him and he slipped into slumber.

 

* * *

 

Remus woke slowly, he was warm, which was unusual in the draughty castle, especially since James liked to have the window open even in the dead of winter. He says it’s to get rid of the wet dog smell. Thinking of Sirius gave Remus the crashing realisation of why he wasn’t freezing his arse off. The very human, very almost naked, Sirius was spooned up against his back. Remus could feel the heat of his chest through the thin cotton of his pyjama shirt. Hell, he could feel his breathing, slow and even against his neck.

Shit, fuck, shit. This was not good, despite what his downstairs situation thought about it all. This was too much, Remus couldn’t bear it. Memories of the night before came flooding back, James’ secrets, Sirius’ heartache. Remus hadn’t cried last night, but he felt he would now if he didn’t get out of this bed right that second. He could sneak out and that way he wouldn’t have to see Sirius be weirded out by waking up like this, that would hurt too much.

Slowly Remus pulled away, edging towards the side of the bed, but the second he lost contact with Sirius, an arm tightened around Remus’ chest and shifted him back with surprising strength. Remus felt like he was going to scream. It wasn’t fair.

Again, he tried to move away, unable to breathe and feeling lightheaded. The arms tightened around him again, but this time they were accompanied by a soft nuzzling at the back of his neck and a whispered. “Moony, where are you going, it’s cold?”

Sirius was awake. And he wasn’t freaking out. Remus had never felt so hot and so cold in his life. He felt like his brain was on fire and he couldn’t make sense of anything. He really hadn’t gotten enough sleep for this sort of confusion.

“Time to get up, Pads,” Remus tried to keep his voice even.

Sirius sighed and rolled away, leaving Remus cold where his touch had been.

Remus sat on the edge of the bed, collecting himself for a moment, and reached for his watch on the bedside table. 10.45. They’d missed breakfast, it was only served until 10.30 on a Saturday. A quick glance across the room confirmed that James and Peter were gone, the curtains around their beds hanging wide open revealing their unmade beds.

Suddenly, Sirius burst out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom, grabbing an armful of clothes from his trunk as he went, swearing and muttering the entire way.

Shame and confusion hit Remus like a tidal wave. Was it really so awful to wake up beside him? No, he reasoned as he wiped furiously at tears that were definitely not forming, this was the reaction he expected. He was stupid to think for a second it wouldn’t be exactly like this.

Remus could hear Sirius shuffling around in the bathroom, still mumbling to himself too low for Remus to make out the words. He didn’t have long until Sirius returned and he would walk through fiendfyre before he let on to Sirius that he was freaking out.

He rummaged through his trunk, grabbing the first clothes he could. Jeans and a black t-shirt, he pulled them on without thought and hurried to look in the mirror. His face looked normal, thank Merlin, no sign of redness around his eyes or anything. Remus let himself feel relieved, small victories and all that.

Then he glanced down. Shit. That was not his shirt. It was too big around the shoulders and was a little short on his lanky frame, not indecent, just shorter than he would wear. It was definitely Sirius’s. Shit. He’d lent it to him on a full moon and never asked for it back so Remus just… kept it. He could not wear this shirt, not today, not ever.

However, before Remus could take even one step towards his trunk, Sirius burst out of the bathroom. Remus froze like a child caught with their hand in the sweet jar but Sirius didn’t seem to notice. He ran over to floorboard under James’s bed.

“Bastard’s took the map again,” He announced, reaching down and pulling out the silvery cloak. “C’mon we’ve only got 10 minutes until quidditch practice is over.”

“What?”

“Are you still snoozing, Moony? James! We have to see where he goes after quidditch practice!” Sirius, frustrated with Remus’s lack of action, grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the dorm.

Red-faced, Remus hurried after Padfoot, who only dropped his hand to climb through the portrait hole, seemingly not noticing the stares of a group of third years who were studying in the common room.

The second he was through the hole, Sirius reached for his hand again, this time linking their fingers properly. “C’mon Moony, we’re gonna have to run!” Sirius grinned easily and it was so beautiful Remus’s brain just shut down completely. He didn’t think about his hand in Sirius’s or how odd Sirius was behaving, he just ran. Running was easy, no questions or realisations or fears, just one foot in front of the other and the weight of Sirius’s hand in his. Nope, he was not thinking about that, definitely not thinking about that.

They reached the top of the path down to the quidditch pitch in record speed, both breathing hard and sweatier than Remus liked, his shirt sticking to the small of his back uncomfortably. Finally, Sirius dropped his clammy palm and unravelled the invisibility cloak, throwing it over both of them.

It was still bitterly cold outside, snow fluttering around them as the wind danced it to and fro. Regretting not bringing a jacket, Remus did his best not to shiver too much as the warmth of the run left him.

The cloak offered some protection but not a lot, he could see his breath in front of his face. Hang on, it wasn’t his breath, it was Sirius’s. Sirius who was excruciatingly close for the second time that day. Back in first year, all four marauders could fit under the cloak, not comfortably but without too much shuffling. Now, however, with only the two of them, it was a tight fit. Also, Remus noticed as they began to stumble towards the pitch, their feet stuck out the bottom quite noticeably.

“You’re too bloody tall, Moons!” Sirius groaned.

“Well pardon me!” Remus replied sarcastically, reaching for his wand and tapping Sirius on the head with it. Doing his best to ignore how damn close he was.

“Hey, warn me next time! You know disillusionment charms gross me out!” He shrieked as Remus cast the spell on himself, rolling his eyes at Sirius’s over the top reaction.

“Quiet down, Prongs’ll be coming this way any second,” Remus muttered. Turning and casting an obliteration charm on their tracks in the snow. Finally, they were invisible.

They stood together, snow swirling around them, pressed together so tightly under the cloak that the left side of Sirius’s back pressed against the right side of Remus’s chest. Remus could feel his breathing, the steady movement calmed him somehow. And, despite the bitter cold around them, it was warm in their cocoon, invisible to the rest of the world.

If waking up this morning had been Remus’s personal anxiety-ridden hell then this was the calming draught for his soul. It was a peace that Remus had rarely felt before, and despite the circumstances he let himself enjoy it just a little.

They didn’t get long before the bubble was popped. In the distance Remus could just make out the forms of the quidditch team leaving the pitch, figures stark against the snow all huddled in on themselves as the wind whipped by them.

First came Donna Macmillan, the captain, seeker, and Lily’s roommate. James had been very cut up when he hadn’t got the captainship and was weirded out that he’d got Head Boy instead. Donna was a good captain, however, and James took comfort in the fact that Lily couldn’t stand Donna even more than she couldn’t stand him, apparently leaving gross quidditch socks on the bathroom floor is the quickest way to earn the sharp end of a toe biter jinx. The competition for Lily’s affection was more important than quidditch and that was certainly saying something coming from James Potter.

Trailing after Donna were John Dawlish and Stamford Jorkins, the two new chasers, they were only third years but had a lot of promise if the way they were flinging snowballs at each other was anything to go by. Then came Otto Bagman, one of the beaters, and Clara Flounders, the Seeker. They were holding hands and talking quietly. Donna was going to be pissed about that, no dating teammates was her favourite rule to enforce, according to James.

Finally, Sam Thomas emerged, twirling their beaters bat through their fingers with one hand while the other held a large book under their nose. Studying for OWL’s harder than any of the Marauders were studying for NEWT’s. A wave of guilt and panic took Remus for a second, he really should be studying rather than stood here freezing his arse off.

Before Remus could dwell on how it wasn’t like he could get a job anyway, no matter how good his results were, James emerged from the Quidditch Pitch. He had his Gryffindor bobble hat pulled low over his ears and as he got closer Remus could see his glasses were fogged up against the cold.

The boys held their breath as James ambled past them, kicking snow as he walked. He didn’t even glance in their direction, he just kept trekking through the snow.

“Where’s he going?” Sirius whispered so low Remus could barely hear him.

James had walked straight past the path up to the castle and was heading towards the forest, his footsteps the first to break the untouched snow.

“We’ve got to keep up!” Remus whispered hurriedly, they couldn’t lose him now after all this.

The boys shuffled forwards as quickly as they could, careful to stay under the cloak while Remus did his best to obliterate their tracks. To be safe, they followed James’ footprints so they didn’t disturb the snow too much.

They managed to keep James in sight until he rounded the hill and disappeared. Frustrated and cold, Sirius and Remus hurried on, Sirius leading while Remus concentrated on his spells. He hadn’t even realised Sirius had stopped until he ploughed straight into him, clonking their heads together and nearly sending them both face first into the snow.

Sirius didn’t even notice. He was too busy staring. Staring at James… and Lily. Lily? Lily Evans? Of course, Remus mused, with James it was always Lily Evans. Lily was sat on a fallen tree, her face almost as red as her hair with the cold. But she didn’t look miserable or annoyed, she just smiled at James in a way the boys hadn’t seen aimed at James before. That smile was reserved for Marlene’s cat Sausage, mint chocolate ice-cream, and that Beatles song she was obsessed with.

James didn’t hesitate as he walked towards her. She stood and met him in an easy kiss, like it was nothing, like it was something they did every day.

Not a death eater then. Remus had never felt so relieved in all his life. James’s secret was what it always was, his unending infatuation with Lily Evans. Clearly, some things never change.

Beside him Sirius was unnervingly still, watching their best friend snog the girl he’d fallen for the first time she’d told him to sod off. Remus hadn’t been able to decide if straight people were weird or if it was just James Potter. The jury was still out on that one.

Sirius flinched like he’d been stung then grabbed Remus’s shoulder and started marching him towards the castle, heedless of their tracks in the snow or noise from their boots. He was muttering and shaking, fingers twisting in Remus’s T-shirt, chafing the fabric against his numb and frozen skin.

They were already at the path to the castle when Remus had gathered himself enough to look back. “Shit,” Remus exclaimed, James had a very familiar piece of parchment in his hands and both him and Lily were looking straight at them.

“Fuck ‘em,” Sirius mumbled, but he picked up the pace, despite his words, and they both started running towards the courtyard.

The ground beneath their boots turned from snow to stone as they reached the limits of the castle. Their very visible feet sticking out the bottom of the cloak earned some very odd looks from the group of second years they ran past but that didn’t stop them.

Remus started heading for the stairs, assuming they would be going to the common room. He was almost pulled off his feet when Sirius tightened his grip on his shirt and yanked him through a door.

The second they were inside Sirius pulled off the cloak, his hair almost as wild as his eyes. Remus took an instinctive step back, automatically putting space between himself and Sirius. However, his back hit the wall before he could really move. Confused, he looked around. They were in a broom cupboard. Seriously, a bloody broom cupboard. Remus was convinced the only reason the school had so many damn broom cupboards was to give students a place to hook up. And here he was in a broom cupboard with Sirius, who looked like he was having a nervous breakdown.

“He’s got the map, he knows we saw him and he knows where we are now,” Remus reasoned quietly, hoping to snap Sirius out of it.

“I know. I just need a minute. Bloody git,” Sirius mumbled the last part. He was pacing from one foot to another, as much as he could in the confined space.

“What’s wrong Pads?” Remus asked gently. “This is good, right? He’s not being mind controlled to murder us in our beds.”

“What’s wrong? Everything’s wrong! Moony, don’t you see?” Sirius was spiralling, he had a tendency to in times of stress.

“I don’t understand. James won’t stop being your friend because he’s got a girlfriend, he’s not like that. You always have a girlfriend and it doesn’t stop you from hanging out with him, does it?” Remus ventured.

Sirius let out a harsh laugh. “Moons, I haven’t had a girlfriend in over a year!”

“No… everyone’s seen you! Just yesterday you were with that Hufflepuff girl!” Remus was very confused.

“I promise you, Moony I haven’t kissed anyone since 5th year,” Sirius held his gaze. “It was a cover story. Part of my punishment for the Snape incident was to help tutor transfiguration for McGonagall. The girls were embarrassed they needed help and I didn’t want to ruin my reputation of fabulous playboy stud, so when people saw us and assumed we were dating I didn’t correct them.”

Remus tried desperately to not let his cocktail of emotions show, he’d spent so much time over the last year and a half being jealous and bitter about girls who just needed homework help? Sirius had lied to them? Finally, his rational brain broke past his emotional one and he said, “I still don’t see why you’re so freaked out about James.”

“Because it’s not fair!” Sirius whined. “He gets to be with the person he wants, despite all odds, and I don’t. Before, neither of us stood a chance and now it’s just me.”

Sirius wanted someone, loved someone, the same way James loved Lily. Remus felt his eyes well with tears and he hated himself for them. Sirius deserved love. He deserved to be happy. He certainly deserved better than a scarred up werewolf with no future.

“Who is she?” Remus croaked, his voice thick despite his best efforts. “‘Cause she’d be mad to not like you, fabulous playboy stud that you are,” He breathed out a watery laugh.

Sirius was looking at him very closely, Remus felt he could see the cogs whirring in his brain. Slowly Sirius reached up and cupped Remus’s cheek, his thumb brushing away a treacherous tear that had dared to fall.

“Y’know Moons, there’s another reason I let everyone believe I was with those girls, I wanted to make you jealous. I didn’t think it worked ‘cause you never reacted or said anything, but… was I wrong?”

“…Sirius?” Remus breathed, he’d never felt so confused in all his life, was Sirius saying what he thought he was saying?

“Do I really need to spell it out for you, Moonbeam? I like you. You understand me better than anyone, but you don’t hesitate to call me up on my bullshit. I love that you try so hard at everything you do and let’s face it you are the best of us at pranking by far. You’re funny, talented, and a million times braver than anyone I have ever met. I hate that you don’t see yourself the way I do, you beat yourself up and internalise it all, it’s not right. You’re beautiful, moons, inside and out,” Sirius was flushed and shaky. “I understand if you don’t feel the same, I’m loud and obnoxious and annoying. We are polar opposites really, but I just couldn’t not tell you any more.”

Remus reached up and finally brushed that intolerable strand of hair out of Sirius’s face and closed the space between them, their lips meeting in a soft insistent press. It was selfish and perhaps a little stupid but who could say no to a speech like that. Sirius gasped into his mouth in surprise but didn’t take long to catch up and deepen the kiss.

“Are you fuckin’ serious?!” The boys were startled apart by the sudden opening of the broom cupboard door and a rather alarmed James squealing at them.

“Not yet, Prongs, it’s only been 15 seconds,” Remus smirked, wrapping his arm around Sirius’s waist. He wasn’t exactly sure where this confidence had come from, maybe Sirius’s was contagious, but he wasn’t going to let James make him feel bad.

Sirius chuckled and leaned into Remus. James seemed to be experiencing 30 emotions at once, eyes flicking from Sirius to Remus. Lily, on the other hand, was awfully smug. “You owe me 3 galleons, Potter. I said they’d get together before Christmas,” She ruffled his hair playfully.

“Hang on! You had a bet?” Remus questioned, Sirius tensing at his side as James still hadn’t reacted.

“Yep,” Lily grinned. “I was starting to get worried, I was so sure you’d be together after the first week back from summer. James here said he had inside intel, Sirius had a hopeless crush on some mystery girl, so he said it’d be after Hogwarts when Sirius realised what was important.”

Finally, James processed what was happening. “Why didn’t you tell me mystery girl was Remus?” He sounded hurt.

“I guess, I never thought it’d actually happen and that I’d probably lose Remus as a friend in the process, wasn’t about to lose you as well,” Sirius said in a small voice. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Evans?”

“Didn’t want to ruin it by everyone gossiping and didn’t want to upset you ‘cause I had my impossible girl and you didn’t,” James sniffled. “You’d never lose me as a friend, Pads, not now not ever. You’re my brother.”

Remus was almost knocked over as Sirius and James rushed together in a firm hug. Both ugly crying and clutching each other. He couldn’t help but smile at the scene. Lily caught his eye and was wearing an expression similar to his own.

“So, how’d he win you over? Other than his ability to create insane amounts of snot that is?” Remus asked her, over the sniffling and blubbering.

“We got talking during head girl and boy patrols. Turns out when he’s not showing off, he’s a very good listener who gives great advice and clearly cares deeply for his friends,” Lily blushed. “The quidditch muscles don’t hurt either,” She winked.

“Hey! You two get over here!” James interrupted, him and Sirius holding out their arms in invitation. Smiling, Remus and Lily joined them, ignoring how generally damp they were.

Remus had never been happier, crushed into Sirius’s side with his arm around his waist, while Lily squeezed his shoulder tightly and James grinned at him over the shorter two’s heads.

“I can’t wait to see Wormtail’s face when he realises he’s the only single Marauder,” James laughed.

“And that he owes us 2 galleons,” Lily injected. “Poor fool thought Sirius was straight.” That caused Sirius to snort into Remus’s shoulder.

“We’d best go find him before he runs off with our money and fakes his death, then,” James announced, pulling away from the group hug and taking Lily’s hand. “C’mon.”

A crowd had gathered, not particularly surreptitious in their attempts to get the gossip on what was transpiring, this meant word would reach Peter quickly. Remus couldn’t bring himself to care about the onlookers, however, as Sirius entwined their fingers and gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. He could cope with a lot that life threw at him, as long as he had Sirius and his friends by his side.

Something _was_ different, him, and for once it was a good thing. The best, in fact.

 


End file.
